Try it until you are satisfied with your effort

"Treat others as you would like to be treated", this quote passed on from generations is swimming in my thoughts lately.  This is not only to be applied with friends and family and people on the street, it is especially to be tried at work. 

We spend more time with people we work with than taking care of ourselves and our families.  These are the people who show up when we are trying to figure out a solution to get our project moving.  Why not be gentle, be understanding, be kind, and be generous with them?  People we work with play a major role (just like customers) in helping us make a living, get a pay check, pay our bills.  Think about that for a minute.

Lead people to their greatness and avoid managing their shortcomings.  Help them manage their weaknesses but lead them to find the goodness in themselves.  One way to lead them to find their best selves is by sharing your goodness and kindness with them.  Give them the opportunity to see it so they can follow.  It starts at the C-level and I have come across very few executives who lead with their heart that wants to be treated gently.  I don't know why the essence of the quote gets left outside of the office doors. 

I don't have a suggestion on how to do it but just think about how this quote relates to work environment.  I'm questioning and listening and thinking what can I do to treat others with generosity and kindness as that is how I want to be treated. 

You understand when it happens to you

I had heard it many times about the sweaty palms and anxious feeling of one experiences before a big launch.  But not until this week had I truly experienced these feeling.  Now just waiting to launch my new business venture. 

I see nothing else more important and I see nothing else as desired by me as this venture.  I know this too will not be important in a few weeks just like all the other accomplishments I got to experience in life.  No moment, no feeling, no pain is forever.  It all passes and I very clearly know this but still sometimes I don't want this to be over.  Once I finish a project, it's no longer important as I move on to finding my next mountain to climb.

There's this fear that if I press the launch button, it will all be over and then what will be left.  And this is why I'm just waiting to launch it. 

Fear - Brings stress, regret, and failure

At times fear gets in the way of executing on the ideas and promises we make to ourselves and others.  I would say fear is the primary reason for not taking action. 

My recent experience with this feeling was at the most recent Director’s Guild Award ceremony that took place this month.  As everyone was walking out of the ballroom after the ceremony, I thought of going up to one of the directors and let him know that his work had an impact on me.  My desire was not to take a picture with him or get anything autographed but to just thank him for sharing his vision with us.  My intention was to create magic for this director as I had heard from Adam Robinson that in every interaction pay attention to the other and create magical moments for others. 

As I started walking toward the area where all the directors and their crew was seated, I was stopped by the security guards.  I was a little perplexed by this because I was under the impression that we were all equals in that room and I could go up to anyone and acknowledge him/her.  My true self when I am approached by gatekeepers’ “no” is to either negotiate with the gatekeepers or find another way to get to my destination.  And this time I just didn’t do that.  I accepted the “no” and walked away.  I was really disappointed in myself and kept making myself wrong for not taking action. 

As I analyzed the situation, I realized that for some reason I was afraid of the security guards.  A reasonable person would think and know that the guards weren’t going to harm me especially at an event like that where we were invited to.  But in that moment when the security guards stopped me, I just froze as I was a little shocked (not over reacting at all).  I think I was afraid that if I had insisted I would have made a scene or I would have gotten tackled.  How bizarre is that thought but I really was fearful of what could have gone WRONG.  I keep wondering now if the fear was also of the physical representation of these guards.  They could have hurt me with their fingers as they were big and strong.  To think of it now, I feel uncomfortable that I let fear get in the way.

But this was a great lesson for me because I will not let that happen to me again.  I will not take the first “no” and leave if there’s something that I really want in my life.  I learned fear causes:

1.      Stress

2.      Regret

3.      Failure

None of the above-mentioned effects of fear create positive emotions or improve health.  If you want to stay healthy and positive, reach out for success and one way to get there is to let go of your fear.  It’s not easy and it keeps showing up.  It’s a forever companion and you just need to recognize it and not let it keep you from getting what you want.  But be careful that you are not harming anyone in order to getting to your success. 

The incident and my lack of any positive reaction has disappointed me so much that the experience will stay with me forever I think.  But I know that I will not repeat this scenario.

Breakthrough - and money is an issue!!!

Be it during conversations with people in my circle at work or home, a very common sentiment I experience is (to sum it up) - if money weren't an issue, I would ____(fill in the blank).  I think about this as well so I'm wondering how prevalent is this thought or feeling. 

How did we all pick to be unhappy in our days?  We made a promise to ourselves to spend hours doing things that didn't necessarily bring joy but paid our bills.  It's something to wonder.

Today I had a breakthrough - it's the experience that get you to understand what you really value.  Listening to Jairek Robbins on James Altucher podcast I realized that we may have been aligned with what was important to us at one point but we didn't constantly evaluate the change that was happening within ourselves.  We outgrew ourselves and now there is this misalignment between what we truly value and what we think we value.

Years ago I was on the path to getting my PhD in Psychology and that would have given me the opportunity to listen to people all day long.  But I chose a different path because at that time I didn't know I was going into Psychology because I wanted to listen to people but because I wanted my doctorate.  I'm glad that I stopped after getting my masters in Psychology.  Doctorate will have to wait until later.

If money weren't something that I worried about, I would listen to people and their stories and understand people.  I love listening to people.  This skill has helped me be a good leader and as I'm told a valuable friend.  Not until recently I realized that maybe because I like listening to people is one of the reasons I started my podcast.  I get to listen to stories of couples and then bring those stories to the world that would have not gotten a chance to experience life through other peoples' stories. 

I wish I could go around the world and talk to people and bring their stories to the rest of the world but money is an issue that needs constant resolution.....

New Year Solution (Resolution)

I have decided to wait until end of January to start my 2017 resolutions. Yes, that's what I'm going to do.  It's just how January is going so far.  Still catching up on last year's list.   Just wait until others are half way to their resolution quitting time. 

That sounds good to me today.  I'm going to experiment with this idea and see what different results it produces for me.  Maybe I won't get fatigued with the list if I start a little later when I feel ready for the list.  Experiment!!!

People remember how you finish not how you started

Being in the entertainment industry my husband has picked up various lessons that he shares with me.  I remember him saying, "You are only as good as your last project", a lesson he learned in the early days of his career.  That lesson has helped him carve a path of excellence for himself.  He is outstanding at what he does and I get to hear that from people he answers to and people who answer to him.  He has been telling me for a while now that it's not how you start but how you finish that people remember. 

The beginning of a project is wobbly especially if people involved in that project didn't have an established relationship already.  Learning to understand work styles of everyone involved takes time.  Eventually, all partners in the project move on to accomplishing the project.  Along the way, people learn and grow (hopefully).  By the time it's closing time people are tired and want to "take it home"(as they say it), it requires extra effort.  It's the last mile that demands the best of you to reveal the finished product.  If you fail then, you give up, you are off your game, nothing you did to get to the last mile matters.  It doesn't matter what you did through out the project but how you end the project that's all it matters.  People will remember if you delivered the product and delivered it with conviction.  People remember the last mile, the home run, your last words so how you finish matters the most.  It's the hardest, most challenging, and extra important.  

I try to remember this and I hope I have left good impressions with how I closed my projects and my relationships.  I don't know if I have made mistakes because someone needs to bring that to my attention so I can correct myself.